It is usually in their eyes: the emptiness and evidence of a hope lost. It echoes in a statement such as: “The man in that room is not the man I married.” It is felt in the circular reasoning of a very posh, well-mannered lady (or used to be posh lady) whilst sitting on the edge of her white sheeted hospital bed and making the by-the-by statement: “And that is just how the world works. We all go round and round on a merry-go-round. That’s just how the world works – my father used to say that.” In that moment, lingering as a complete stranger next to her, what do you do? How do you hold on to hope, when it is as clear as crystal, that she herself will be draped in white within a blink of an eye? I don’t know, but you hold her hand, listen and feel – be mindful, be present and reminisce a stranger’s once full lived life. For it is truly a sin To Kill a Mockingbird.
It was the wise Mister Young who said, that one should know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul, be just another human soul. For it is in those moments, that captures you within a mindful reality, halting the forward momentum. And it just makes you think.
It’s a funny thing when you realise that, the profession you choose, becomes a playground of human souls. Each individual makes a twirl as time passes. Some lingering longer and become a core memory, while others slowly start to fade as a number you once wrote on a page. It was here that I realised that time not only flies when you are having fun, but laughter is also truly the best medicine. Sometimes you laugh to keep your own sanity and sometimes it is out of pure helplessness. But, whatever the matter, you grab hold of the sanity that you have left and start walking around in someone else’s skin. It is someone’s being you are working with. When all is said and done, and that is just how the world works, it becomes a mind game within the Divine Comedy: was it worth it? What are the things that truly matters most?
It was during one therapy session, that the question just jumped in front of me – is there a method to identify a life lived well?
Whilst wandering the halls of frantic buzzing and making time to linger in quiet corridors or in rooms with little to no hope, I, with my very few years of experience, realised, that the one thing that stands out, is the unnatural ability to be able to celebrate the small moments. Maybe it is a glorious misconception, but it is in those moments, where you tackle the small foxes strolling the vineyards, where you listen to your father’s wisdom after dinner at the kitchen table and where you learn to fight your battles with grace. You build character and wisdom starts to overshadow doubt. For we know, the good old days would not exist if you were never present in the small moments. Those are the building blocks you fall back on, when all is said and done. Brutal, but true.
I guess I am within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life when entering the doors to the hospital. Maybe my own wisdom will someday bite me in the butt. But until then, we will go round, and round on the merry-go-round. Until Midnight, when the hour arrives and new actors takes position on stage, you savour, and grab hold of the moment you’ve been gifted with. Therefore, raise your glass and celebrate, Old Sport.
Disclaimer: Mister Young is better known as Mister Charl Jung. The autocorrection worked with the piece and was left as is. Additional quotes borrowed from F. Scott Fritzgerald and Harper Lee.
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