I overheard the conversation at a tea party at an unknown location. The ladies were all dressed to the nines, in floral and in frocks: the Upper-East-Side-Of-Manhattan type. To be quite honest, the babbling could have been considered as breaking news for the gossip column, or page six (I think there is a reason why they called it scandal broth at some stage – spilling the tea, Victorian style).
The conversation rang as follow:
Lady number one: “So I told her, say “good morning”, “thank you” and “would you care to pass me the milk, please.” Whatever you do, do it with some flair and with poise. Place the forks on the left, knives on the right and spoons at the top of the plate. Sit up straight, laugh politely and keep it classy.”
Lady number two: “These are our heydays. No one can stop a woman on Wall Street, but if all else fails – we’ll just give them some cake. I think it is important to be well dressed, well-mannered and well educated.”
Lady number three: “The reality: no one asks you to play on the playground in Silicon Valley – you have to fight for your space: woman up! The nice girl never gets the corner office, honey.”
Lady number four: “Yes, it is in the manner that you enter and exit the classroom – that’s something you cannot Botox: you either have it, or you don’t. Miss Hepburn said it herself: “Don’t be like the rest of them darling.”
By this time in the conversation, I could actually audibly hear the Hatter proclaiming: “You’re entirely bonkers!” But, to tell you the truth, this is a surreal and absurd scenario that did not actually take place. This one, I made up.
Bear with me, however, the above mentioned will make sense in a moment.
Someone once asked me what or who I would have liked to be whilst growing up. Despite replying that I would have liked to be fully grown (in length), I indicated that I would have liked to pursue a career in being a full-time princess. Going to tea parties and playing dress-up (because that is what you will do as a princess). But sometimes life just gives you lemons and you make do with what you’ve got. In reality, it never goes as planned and you are faced with a choice to step onto the stage without any background in acting or even a script to follow. But how do you still nurture that inner girl of four/five years old whilst making lemonade? How do you keep from conforming to the patterns of this world? As Ursula Le Guin said: “You cannot buy the revolution. You cannot make the revolution. You can only be the revolution…” So be the revolution…
It was the Hatter himself who scolded and quite disappointedly announced that Alice “…used to be much more ‘muchier’. You’ve lost your muchness.” The trick comes in when you are able to speak up, show up and own up in the office, but still be able to keep a quiet and gentle spirit in the process. Maybe it lies in the essence of having the guts to still laugh at yourself and to have the grit to make time for the tea parties and the silly conversations. Doctor Caroline Leaf called it: Freaking out in the love zone, which I take as some phenomenal wisdom.
I do not think the Chinese had these types of conversations in mind when they invented tea in the first place, but I’m truly grateful. This one is for the ladies, the women, the inner child: never lose your authenticity, please.
Times are changing rapidly, so keep your niche. And remember: We’re all entirely bonkers…all the best people are. Just keep you Cheshire Cat Smile.
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